“Are you there,
Say a prayer for the pretender.
Who started out so young and strong
Only to surrender.”
I first heard the song “The Pretender,” by Jackson Browne, in 1976, interesting that it was released then, a pivotal year for yours truly, the year I became a capitalist convert and took my first steps down the Road of Consumerism.
It’s amusing to think about it all now. Truth be told, I never really cared about owning possessions or keeping up with the mythical Jones family. I just followed along with the status quo, mindlessly slipped into my spot on the hamster wheel, and started churning my legs as fast as they would go. And I continued churning those legs, and accumulating, and churning some more, for four decades.
I took on debt, paid off debt, and quickly took on more debt. I acquired, conspired, and nearly expired from The Chase, aware of my unhappiness but unable to really focus on the cause of that unhappiness.
I was no longer in touch with my true self and melancholy, and then, logically, sadness overwhelmed me.
My best friend, Frank, had explained it all to me back in 1970.
“I think I’ll take some time off after graduation,” he said to me one day while we were playing catch.
I was incredulous!
“But what about a job? You can’t buy a house or a car or practically anything if you don’t get a decent job.”
He smiled at me, a smile I miss, still, to this day.
“I don’t want a house or a new car, Billybuc. I don’t have any need of that stuff, and they all come with their own set of problems. I’m going to concentrate on living a good life without the trappings.”
I thought he was daft then. Now I understand just how damned smart he really was.
“I’m going to be a happy idiot,
And struggle for the legal tender.”
I wonder what led Jackson Browne to write those lyrics?
Today I see the truth. One of my favorite books is “Walden” by Thoreau. Another? “Tao Te Ching,” by Lao Tzu. Both speak of rejecting the false idol of consumerism and instead listening to your heart and following The Way. Live in harmony with nature and the universe, and there is nothing harmonious about capitalism.
The truth lies within each of us.
I know, some of you reading this are thinking it’s all a bunch of b.s., that there is nothing wrong with consumerism, that our whole system depends upon people buying things, that you must work hard to get a good job and provide for that family and . . . and . . . and . . .
I say to you this: If that’s what you truly want, I will be your cheerleader. If that truly makes you happy, I say bravo! I don’t write this for others; I write it to remind myself about what is important in life, to keep myself on the right path, pointed in the right direction.
What you do is none of my beeswax.
As for me, well, I miss my best friend, gone five years now, a simple man who lived a life of peace, who was kind to others, who lived within his simple means and who found peace of mind in his simple world.
It is a world I’m trying to emulate, a happiness I’m trying to grasp, and a peace of mind I have longed for since 1976.
