At times, during my life, I have felt at the top of the world, joyous celebration flowing through my veins.
At times, during my life, I have experienced lows, so low that the gentle rays of sunlight could not be found.
But most of the times in my life, I have lived in-between those extremes, within the safe zone of life, where risks are low and rewards reflect that absence of risk.
I had a dream
A vision, if you prefer, me standing alone in the woods, frozen in time at a fork in the path, not knowing which way to go. One path was simple, was comfortable, the acceptance of life as it was . . . as it is now. The other path offered sweet peace but, to reach that reward, a sea of brambles needed to be traversed.
And in that dream, in that vision, I chose the sea of brambles, and my vision became my release.
From a rocky perch, I will begin my search, and in so doing lay waste to the regrets which have been my companion for far too long.
I want to fly too close to the sun. I want to dive too deep in the deepest sea. I want to feel my heart pound in that way it once did, as a young man, when there were no restraints of responsibility, self-imposed I might add, responsibility embraced with fervor for there is, there was, safety within those restraints; there is, there was, familiarity and structure and, yes, comfort.
I am now ready, as the darkness of night is always ready for the new dawn . . . I am ready to toss away the shackles, Hercules unchained, a new superhero for the heroes of old to talk about, in whispers, in awe.
Someone recently asked me . . .
Why, at an age when most people decide to ride out those golden years, would I choose to chuck it all and hit the road? Why would I fly into the hurricane of the unknown, rather than lay my head down on the soft pillow of conformity, kick back in a recliner, and watch reruns of West Wing and Friends.
And my answer is simple, so simple, in fact, that I wonder why more people don’t see it as obvious . . . life is to be lived to the max, foot on the pedal, pressed down to the floorboard, rpms screaming. There is just so much to be seen. There are so many other pilgrims to meet.
My time is limited, more so today than yesterday, and that is true for us all, making it more imperative that I waste none of my time remaining by mowing lawns, trimming plantings, painting walls, or taking out the ever-present garbage. I am done with suburbia and all of its trappings. Stick a fork in me. At seventy-three years of age, I am well-done.
Am I afraid?
Absolutely terrified, if truth be known. My head is spinning with what-ifs. What if I break down on the road. What if I get injured on some forest path, miles from medical aid. What if I fall from a cliff, or run out of money, go broke, become destitute? What if, what if, what if, and that is followed closely by how do I, how do I, how do I, for there is so much I don’t know about living on the road, and the unknown is always more frightening than the known.
And I have no answers for any of those questions. I only know that I am being called, and for my peace of mind, I need to respond to that call for action.
Stay tuned, my friends. It’s going to be one hell of a ride, this upcoming journey into the wonders of life, and I’m going to bring you along with me . . . with us . . . so buckle up!
Bill
Misbah, you are very kind. It is unfortunate, and a bit sad, that we will not meet in person. I would like it very much if we did.
Blessings and love always
bill
Sir, your opening lines are very beautiful and touching. I loved where you said: “One path was simple, was comfortable, the acceptance of life as it was . . . as it is now. The other path offered sweet peace but, to reach that reward, a sea of brambles needed to be traversed.
And in that dream, in that vision, I chose the sea of brambles, and my vision became my release.”
As I often remind myself, dear Misbah, for cool things to happen, you must step outside of your comfort zone.
Mr. Bill, you are truly an inspiration to me. I want to be like you when I’m 73, full of energy and enthusiasm. May God continue to bless you. Ameen!
Have a beautiful day and wonderful week ahead!
Lots of Love and Blessings to you and your family.
Thank you my friend. You are appreciated. Don’t be surprised if we pull up in your driveway next year. We will definitely be in your area.
I am just glad to still be able to hear about you and Bev. God bless you two and your family.
Liz, thank you! I am getting impatient from the waiting. 🙂 I feel like time is against me at this point in life.
This is, as ever, an extremely well-written article. Your images clearly convey the enormity of the challenge ahead. Your adventure is providing a great base for your literary talents. I look forward to reading further installments.
Ann, you are a gem. I was thinking about this last night, wondering what if the van breaks down on the road, what would I do? You know, I never once considered that question when I was young. I just got into my vehicle and took off on adventures. Why now, at 73, would I think about the pitfalls? There is a certain insecurity which accompanies being older, a lack of confidence, and I hate that those thoughts even creep into my thinking now.
So I need to face them head-on, laugh at them, and get on with this thing called life.
Thank you dear friend!
The question is, Bill, ‘What if I don’t do any of this?’ That possibility has far more dangers to it than going all out to succeed, which of course you will!
Each time I read the next episode of this, I’m going down the road with you, egging you and Bev on to reach the destination, to meet as many people as possible on your way – and each one of those is going to be in awe of what you’re doing, or if they’re not, then they have no imagination nor sense of adventure.
I have the same thoughts about getting on with life rather than thinking of pitfalls. No point in the negative, the positive gets us much further down that road and gives us wonderful experiences on the journey.
Can’t wait to read the next piece and rooting for you both all the way.
Ann
Lil Sis, you are singing my song in my key. 🙂 I am chomping at the bit to turn myself loose and get on the road. I think Maggie and I will take a few warm-up weekend trips next month, but first I have to find a van to buy, and that means selling a car; that’s the only hold-up. All of the other what-ifs will take care of themselves once we are on the road. I have small worries which are overwhelmed by my excitement. Bring it on, whatever “it” is.
Hugs, Lil Sis! I knew you would understand.
John, I really appreciate that. You have a huge country there, and many more years to explore it. Happy Travels to you, my friend!
Let’s see…where to begin. This post is chock full of all those things that wax on philosophical and contemplative…
First, the older I get, too, and the more deaths I experience, the more life I experience, I’m learning that I just want to take it all in: experience life through learning, through doing, through road trips, through helping.
Second, there will always be the what ifs. But you can draw on past life experience: no matter what has happened, it *has* worked out, hasn’t it? A personal case-in-point: I was working as a digital marketer for a sound therapy company from July 2020 to May 2022. It got to where I was going bonkers: it was a tiny company but also any time I work for someone else, I am constantly thinking about all the other things I could be doing. Sigh. I’m just wired that way. I had a plan to leave the first of May for a long while. Along the way, we had to deal with extremely expensive, debt-incurring expenses of our cats. Then my sister passed away. For awhile there, it felt like emergency after emergency. But I kept thinking, if I don’t go out there and do for myself – whatever that will ultimately look like – then I will regret it. It’s a harder road for sure. I even had a friend call me up – no joke – yesterday and offer me one of my other old jobs back. Doing freelance work is fraught with ebb and flow: sometimes the money comes in and sometimes it doesn’t. And I *do* prefer security. I *could* go back to that security. But I already know in my heart that the trade-off would be too great: I would trade security for my freedom, and freedom is what I value above all else. I’d rather piece things together and live with the uncertainty of variable income than to have the security of regular income. I realize that probably sounds nuts. But every single time I get a full time job, I only last a couple years before I must break free. I’m not that great of a sales person, either. It is a struggle to “sell myself” to get business. But I’d rather live with that struggle than struggle within the parameters of somebody else’s rules. I relate all this because you are similar to me. You need that freedom. The security of the comfortable life is outweighed by the desire to follow your heart. Will the journey always be a garden of roses? Ha, well, even in a bed of roses you find thorns and other undesirables. But you still get to smell the roses. The journey won’t always be pretty. There are risks. But for me, at least, the rewards outweigh the risks. I have a feeling, you will arrive at the same conclusion. 🙂
Good for you, Bill. What’s that saying, “Fortune favors the brave.”
You are actually an inspiration to many of us who consider what to do in our later years to make the most of and pack as many adventures into the time we have.