Early Lessons About Simple Living Learned Long Ago

I loved Frank Zderic.

Frank was my best friend through high school, through college, through adulthood, until his death five years ago.  More a brother, truly, than a friend, like the stars perfectly aligned, the universe got on board, kismet was in full gear, that kind of best friend.

We were alike in so many ways and yet, as is the way of humans, there were some major differences which were not obvious upon first glance.

I was wired to follow my parents’ advice and hurtle, full-speed ahead, towards the American Dream.

Frank, not at all.

I was taught that hard work will be a person’s salvation.

Frank, not at all.

I was more interested in what I could accumulate.

Frank, not at all.

Let me supply you with examples.

Frank and I both attended Seattle University, roomed together for two years, hung out constantly, as best friends do.  I graduated with degrees in Marketing and Economics.  Frank graduated with a degree in Philosophy.

I remember, even now, asking Frank one day, this being perhaps our Junior year, what he planned on doing with that Philosophy degree? Surely he planned on getting his doctorate in Philosophy, teach in some university?  There really was no other way to “make a living” with a Philosophy degree.

His response? “I’m not planning on doing anything with the degree. I just think Philosophy is interesting.”  And he proceeded to be true to his word.  Upon graduating, he worked part-time on the ground maintenance crew at college, and after that college gig, he bounced from one part-time job to another for the next forty years.  If he held down a full-time job, in all that time, I never heard about it.

“I really don’t like working,” his statement one day, a statement which had me howling in laughter then, howling in laughter today. “I think the whole system is back-asswards.” He continued.  “You work forty, fifty years, accumulate enough to get by on Social Security, and then you die within ten years of retirement? What kind of illogical b.s. is that?”

And how, you might ask, did he manage to “survive” on part-time wages? How did he pay for rent and food and vehicles and clothes and, well, all of the expenses that the rest of us pay?

During his Philosophy studies, Frank learned about Taoism, and one of the basic tenants of that philosophy is frugality, living in harmony with the universe, living a simple lifestyle.  Frank got by, financially, simply by not needing much and not accumulating the trappings of life most of us work our asses off to accumulate.

If he was short of money, and couldn’t afford to pay rent, he would couch-surf with friends.  Many a time, for weeks, for months, Frank would stay in a spare bedroom at a place I was renting.  He might give me fifty, or one hundred, bucks each month for utilities; sometimes he didn’t have it to pay. That was all right by me. He was my friend, and back in the Sixties, friends were more than willing to help friends, at least in my circle they were. Besides, he was family to me, and it wasn’t so much me helping him out as me being happy for his company, and money was just not important when compared to friendship and family.

Such a situation is hard for some people to understand, and I think that’s sad.  Today there are many who would call it “sponging off someone,” and I really do find that such a sad testimony about our current state of affairs.  This society we live in is becoming increasingly isolated.  There are so many people so concerned with safety, and so concerned with squeezing a nickel until the buffalo shits, that they have forgotten what a true community feels like, and what the true definition of community really is.

I love this explanation of community:

“First and foremost, community is not a place, a building, or an organization; nor is it an exchange of information over the Internet. Community is both a feeling and a set of relationships among people. People form and maintain communities to meet common needs.

“Members of a community have a sense of trust, belonging, safety, and caring for each other. They have an individual and collective sense that they can, as part of that community, influence their environments and each other.”

That’s how I felt back in the 60’s, and that’s how I feel today.  Since I don’t worship the Almighty dollar, I have no problem sharing what I have with family and friends. Since I do not worship capitalism, I do not concern myself with who in my community is providing the most or the least.  If you need something, and I have that something to give, it is then yours.  And, the unspoken second part of that statement, if I need something, and you have it to give, you will share with me.

Anyway, those are my recollections of my best buddy, Frank, and what I learned, by observation, from him.

If I were younger, this concept of simple living, the philosophy of Taoism, might become a crusade for me, my sole purpose, to become a soapbox speaker, hoping to teach others that there is a better way to follow. But I am not a young man, and I do not have the desire to crusade, so I will quietly leave my legacy, in my words, and hope they help others to find their way, eventually, to a better way of living.

Thank you, Frank! I could not have hoped for a better friend than you.