Thoughts during my happy retirement.
I remember, as a young boy, then a teen, being dazzled by the wonder of it all, the seemingly endless wonders of life. Straddling my bike, taking long rides around the North End of Tacoma, Washington, taking long walks with friends, exploring woods, exploring beaches, soaking up the unknown in that frenetic way the young have, cup never full, always looking for the next wonder, and the next, and the next.
Climbing mountains, endless hiking in the Cascades, kayaking, swimming, fishing, waking up to watch a sunrise, ten-thousand feet elevation, almost impossible to describe the wonder of it all, the body a finely-tuned machine at that age, all pistons pumping on schedule, hit the ignition and keep running until you smell fumes, sleep, get up, repeat.
Time marches on . . .
Somehow, at some time, it all changes, you know? Responsibilities pile up, seemingly from nowhere, which leads to jobs, and you turn around one day and realize you have a family, and more responsibilities, the blink of an eye, and suddenly, or at least it seems sudden, there is no time for the wonder of it all and the focus is on paying the bills, accumulating, staying one step ahead in an unnamed race, the prize non-specific, the American Dream, at times, like the proverbial anvil, weighing you down, too damned tired at the end of the day to think about wonders or quality of life or any other ethereal dreams of youth.
“Leading lives of quiet desperation” . . . Thoreau was one smart s.o.b. if you think about it, able to see into the future, leap tall haystacks in a single bound, faster than a horse-drawn carriage.
And marches on, and marches on . . .
And here I am, seventy-three years of age, and questioning my choices like a mad scientist, mixing this chemical, mixing that chemical, gauging the reactions, wondering what combination of chemicals will create the exact formula I’m chasing.
By all accountings my life is good. I have a good quality of life. A home, vehicles, travel trailer, loving wife, two dogs, in pretty damned good financial shape, truth be known, a couple retirements funds paying the bills, there are millions who would trade places with me in a heartbeat . . . and yet . . .
I’m having a hard time, much harder than when I was young, seeing the wonder of it all. I catch glimpses of it on walks with the dogs, revel in their jubilation as they splash through puddles, sniff this, sniff that, always curious, tails wagging, unconditional love for their owner, but I need more, not a second childhood, but rather a recapturing of that feeling, long gone from memory, of the wonders so available to all of us, just around the next bend in the road, waiting for me, calling me.
A window is slightly ajar
My wife can retire early, at sixty-two, in nine months. We have decisions to make. What does retirement look like, for the two of us, and that question is a thorny one, trying to find mutual agreement, finding common ground, and the travel trailer, and a part-time RV life, is certainly going to happen. And maybe, on those RV trips, the wonder will return. Or maybe we will sell the house, go the tiny house route, certainly a possibility, escape completely the monthly bill quicksand, be completely free to spend countless hours looking for those things which have been right under our noses for decades . . . the wonder of it all.
Stay tuned! It should be interesting. Catch you down the Road of Life.
It does thanks, glad to have found your new home.
It has been a tough slog of it, Andrea. I hope we all can find some normalcy this year and beyond. I really appreciate you stopping by, and I hope this finds you well.
I hope you do find the time and space to recapture that wonder. I think many of us are feeling drained and jaded at the couple of years we’ve just had.
Thank you Ann! I’ll have to talk to the website designer and see if we can’t fix that little comment problem. Thanks for letting me know about it. That will be a priority for me this week . . . when I’m not looking at all the wondrous things around me, of course.
I’m not sure how to find the comments either! I fell upon this by accident. I did leave a comment a week or so ago, when I subscribed, but it seems to have disappeared into the ether.
You’re already thinking and appreciating the wonder of it all! Your writing shows that in heaps. It’s having the time to slow down and really look at it, I suppose. Every time I go into the garden or for a walk by the sea, I wonder at the horizons, at things at my feet and at the friendly smiles and ‘hello’s with which I’m greeted.
Like everyone else, I can’t wait to hear about your preparations, your travels and the wonders that you find. Good luck to you both in this great adventure, or, as a friend of mine puts it, being ‘intrepid explorers’!
Thank you Vidya! I feel energized and excited for it all, and our first road trip will be next month. Very exciting! Thank you and have a grand weekend.
I am sure you are right, John! Now I have to grow comfortable with editing videos. We just learn one new thing and there are ten more to learn, and it’s getting harder for this old man to learn this stuff. 🙂 Thanks my friend.
Same with my dad, Lawrence, dead at fifty, all of that hard work and very little relaxation to enjoy for it. I don’t plan on following in his footsteps, no matter how much I respected him. Thanks for your words of wisdom.
Alyssa, it’s hard to imagine your son entering high school. He’s grown up before our very eyes, a whole audience watching him grow online. How amazing! Anyway, I understand what you are saying. Savoring the moment is much easier said than done when you are knee-deep in it. 🙂 Thanks my friend, and Happy Saturday to you.
I believe that is true, Nell! We are busy making plans. Now all we need is the weather to turn a little warmer. lol Thanks so much for stopping by.
Thank you so much, Sally! If they would build a bridge across the Atlantic, we would come visit you. 🙂
One day at a time, enjoy each one given to you. I for one will be watching and wishing you and Bev and the animals all of the best as your travel along the road of life x
It sounds like you are going to have an amazing time Bill! Always look forward and never look back. The good is just around the corner for you!
I’m excited for you both and I can’t wait to see your adventures!
I try to remain in the present moment and savor the joy, but I’m in that time marches on, heaps of responsibility stage. My son is about to enter high school and it doesn’t seem right that he only has four more years until he’s an adult.
Funny how we push feelings to the side to deal with later, knowing full well the time will come, but never truly preparing for when it does.
But those are just the musings of a cold, snowy spring morning. I’m sure there’s a story in there somewhere, but it hasn’t made itself known just yet.
I hope you both have a wonderful week!
Bill
Make the most of every second. Don’t wait for retirement to start enjoying the wonder of it all.
My Dad didn’t make retirement age. He never got to do that world cruise he’d always said he’d take Mum on!
Mum did make the trip, but Dad didn’t. Don’t wait around, throw yourselves into it as if there’s no tomorrow.
We go through various changes in life where we have to find something to replace the spark of our youth, new interests and passions. I am sure going on travels in your RV will reinspire.
After a thrilling, and adventurous youth, retirement is the time to enjoy life to the full, which I am sure you will do on your RV trips. The wonder will return and we look forward to reading all about it
For sure, Linda! You should hear what Bev wants to do. LOL But I promised not to tell anyone yet.
Thank you Peggy! Sorry I’m late with the response. I didn’t know how to find the comments on this new site. LOL
Cannot wait to see what the two of you do in retirement. Of one thing I am certain, the wonder of it all will return in spades! I cannot wait to learn about it.
Oh, Bill, someone said youth is wasted on the young. Don’t mourn the lack of reckless youthful energy. You have something much more valuable. You have a deeper understanding of life, the beauty and wonder of … everything. The best is yet to be